With this being “Throw back Thursday” I was thinking how about throwing way back to regret and 2nd chances. I guess trying to help friends by listening to their problems makes me really think. I think about wow, what would I do in their place or how would I handle their situation if it was me.
I can relate to this the regrets and 2nd chances …. One being I did not have any children at the time, two not knowing anything about their relationship except of what I personally seen. They always say there are 3 sides to a story…he said, she said and in between lies the truth.
Now, I married this man and took on all of his problems became mine. The sadness he cried about at night became my sadness. My husband loves ‘ALL’ of his children the same. Some of the hardest decisions he made was out of love for his older children. There were so many things going against us and them. He took in to account what was going on at the time and made the best decision he could with the resources we had.
The toughest decision he ever made was the decision to relinquish his parental rights. Now this was not an easy decision. There were several events that took place and affected his decision. Who would have ever thought the consequences. Even though you might think “Well, I would have never done that”…you have no clue of what took place leading up to this decision. But with this decision came 13 long, antagonizing years of not knowing where they were, how were they or what they looked like.
But in 2006 thanks to “MySpace”…yes the precursor to Facebook. I would always go on looking for his childrens names to see if they would pop up , or try and locate any court papers from the last known location we knew they were. Well on this fateful day I found his oldest son. It was a day we will never forget. My brother-in-law came over and I told him I found them. He was like “woah” let me on here. In which he proceeded to message him and let him know who he was and we had been looking for them. Well from one message there led to a 3 hour phone call. We had found them in California. Within the following weekend my hubby was on his way to be reunited with his children. Where he spent a week reconnecting with them.
Since then there has been a few more trips between California and Missouri. His son has moved back here and lives close by. His daughter is still estranged. The answers to her questions are not easy nor fair but they are the truth. Some times the truth hurts and can not be seen from all of the deception that they have been raised around. Communication is a two-way street. Both parties have to participate if you want to get anywhere. Hopefully in the future there will be a time where we can be a family without hesitation or reservation.
Some of the best things are not seen but felt with the heart. Regrets are something you will have if you don’t take that chance. And if given the opportunity to have that 2nd chance ….do it.