I can not say how much I love each and every one of my children. The journey with Autism is definitely a rough one. Just when you think that you are past one wave another one comes to rock your boat. When Jonathan was younger his way of expressing his anger, disappointment or boredom would be him destroying something of daddy’s. For example, we had a 16ft Carolina Skiff flats boat. We always wanted a boat and were beginning to start tournament fishing. We spent over $300 on a customized boat cover and one day Jonathan took a caulking gun loaded with black roofing caulk and went to town on decorating this boat cover. Let’s just say that day will one never forgotten. From the expressions on all of our faces and Jonathan’s reaction to our disappointment.
Well that has been almost 10 years since this day,Jonathan is not destroying anything and now Zachary is acting out. From being suspended at school for verbal threats, to destroying a neighbors property. The difference between Jonathan and Zachary is that Zachary has no fear at all. So much so that I am afraid for him. Now when I mean he has no fear in the past he has picked up black widow spiders with his bare fingers, will go off wandering by himself. One day in particular in 2009 he was on his bike and decided he wanted to go exploring without telling anyone. So he did. At this time I worked outside the home. I came home from work to make dinner as usual. Called the kids in for dinner no Zachary….had the older brothers go to the neighbors still no Zach. As dusk was approaching I started to panic. I called 911, my best friend came to help, my sister all came to look for him. There was no sign at all of him. Almost like he had vanished….my biggest fear was racing through my heart and my mind. Then about 30 minutes into the look for him, someone spotted a little boy on a bike just riding like he owned the road. It was Zachary…he rode his bike to Burger King because he was hungry in which someone bought him french fries without questioning him about where were his parents. He then left and crossed a busy intersection on a major road in our town twice without getting hit. Thank God!!! He said he was on his way home and got lost. He was really disoriented. That is another difference between Jonathan and Zachary, even though they have the same diagnosis. Zachary gets disoriented a lot.
I don’t know if this behavior is something related to his medicines or puberty or just plain defiance. As I am writing this I have called his specialist to discuss how it might be his growth hormone medicine and his adhd medicines not jiving together.