Yesterday at 2:28 p.m. Charlene lost her battle with throat cancer. One of the hardest things I have ever had to do is tell my children one by one that their grandmother was gone. Jonathan and Christopher coming thru the door laughing and carrying on and then to be told this. I can not even describe their faces after receiving the news but I can still see them in my mind. From having our youngest son saying ” I thought dad was lying about grandma” to our middle son and oldest sons uncontrollably crying.
When we made it to Grandma and Grandpa’s house there was a silence like no other. Trying to keep composure knowing the heartbreak everyone is feeling was not happening. The children were given the chance to go into the bedroom where she laid to say their goodbyes.
The loud sobs of Christopher was heart shattering. The words of “I never got to tell her how much I loved her” just made me stop.
Nickolas remembers playing cards with her. Nearly every time when we would go to visit (before she was sick) they would play war or rummy.
I believe Zachary is still having a difficult time with accepting this. He is just so quiet and has not said really much. I think a lot of the emotions will come when we have her memorial service.
Jonathan is always thinking. I mean his mind never stops. He has his moments that he misses her and seeing her chair empty. Then he worries about what is going to happen to his grandpa. He walks around the house looking at things I would not look at and find some memory about it with his grandmother. Then as we were driving home last night he says “I guess Cancer won the battle.” I did not know what to say at that moment.
The grieving process has begun in our family and I know it will be a long, hard journey for us all.
NEVER TAKE FOR GRANTED THOSE IN YOUR LIFE…..THERE’S NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR LOVED ONES NO MATTER WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN THE PAST….LEAVE IT IN THE PAST AND MOVE FORWARD WITH YOUR LOVED ONES. ALWAYS FORGIVE NO MATTER WHAT…..DON’T REGRET NOT HAVING THAT LAST OPPORTUNITY.